Bylaws
Adopted by the board of directors, recorded by the Secretary, and enforced at roughly the level you would expect. Residents are presumed to have read them.
The Community
The community was established at the first Crash and Learn, in Utah, around a single orange six-person tent, and was designated Campsite One in that same year. It has held the designation at every Crash and Learn since. It began operating additionally as Camp Mogadishu in 2025. Both names are correct. Neither is official. The community has never stated a purpose and has never been asked for one.
Arising from Chapter I — The Founding, 2022Names
The community does not name itself. One of its names was conferred by Management in a staff meeting and was not meant kindly; the other was coined by Nick Zuber. Neither was put to a vote and neither was declined. Any future name will be accepted on the same terms: somebody else’s, arrived at accidentally, and kept.
Arising from Chapter II — That One Campsite, 2023Membership
New members must be voted in and agreed upon by the board of directors. There is no appeal, no waitlist position, and no second round. The roster published by the Office of the Mayor records the OGs; it will not be updated as new folks join, and that is the point of it. Membership confers no rights, no property, and no reduction in the amount of walking involved.
Attendance
Attendance may be recorded in person or in cardboard. A resident represented by a full-size cutout is present for every purpose except carrying things. The practice began before the office of President existed and has been relied upon in every chapter since.
Arising from Chapter II — That One Campsite, 2023Residences
All residences are delivered unfurnished, unheated, and open to the elements on at least one side. An indeterminate number of Walmart tents are present at any given time; Management has never counted them and neither has anyone else. The Wawona is not available for lease. It is the anchor structure, and the office of President follows it.
Arising from Chapter I — The Founding, 2022Seating
The community provides no seating. Each resident is responsible for their own chair. One resident brings two, for reasons entered into the record in 2023 and not discussed since. One resident brings none, has never brought one, and is not expected to begin.
Arising from Chapter II — That One Campsite, 2023The Vest
The Stat Pack vest is held by the community and not by any officer. It may be worn, filled with ice, or displayed. It may not be taken home. It is the oldest continuously held asset of Campsite One and the only one with an unbroken chain of custody.
Arising from Chapter I — The Founding, 2022The Cooler
The maroon cooler shall attend. Its attendance record is perfect. No officer’s is.
Weather
No resident shall observe aloud that it is not currently hailing, that conditions could be worse, or that the forecast looks clear. The prohibition is absolute and admits no exception for irony, hindsight, or confidence in meteorology.
Arising from Chapter III — At Least It’s Not Hailing, 2024The Gathering Space
Open flame is at the discretion of the Fire Marshal, who is consulted after the fact. Programming continues at the discretion of residents until such time as Management intervenes. Management intervenes. Edged implements after dark remain permitted; the community has considered restricting this and declined.
Arising from Chapter I — The Founding, 2022Visitors
Visitors are welcome at the gathering space. A visitor who cannot grasp why several hundred clinicians have travelled to a field — which is to learn things — and who wishes to argue the point at volume may be removed by the Camp Counselor. Removal is quiet. It is not discussed afterwards.
Arising from Chapter V — The Eviction, 2026Quiet Hours
Quiet hours are observed. Resident-collected instrumentation recorded 90 decibels at the gathering space at 0114 hours, which the Office of the Mayor has accepted as context rather than as a defence. No resident has been disciplined under this article, and none has been found compliant with it either.
Arising from Chapter V — The Eviction, 2026Extraction
Any resident may request extraction from a conversation, a campfire, or a person, by any signal they choose. A resident receiving such a signal shall not require it to be repeated, justified, or explained afterwards. The procedure was established in 2023 and has not been improved upon.
Arising from Chapter II — That One Campsite, 2023Credit
Where two residents present together, both residents have presented, and both shall be credited. Where report is offered to one and withheld from the other, the report has been given badly, and the community will note the fact without softening it.
Arising from Chapter V — The Eviction, 2026Unaffiliated Parties
Wildlife, neighbours, and passers-by are not members and cannot be voted in. They may nonetheless be commemorated. A llama and a coyote have been. A man with a flute has not, and the community regards this as an outstanding debt.
Arising from Chapter III — At Least It’s Not Hailing, 2024Network Conduct
One network is operated for the community. Credentials are not to be shared, solicited, guessed at, or entered into any network a resident cannot positively identify. A network name resembling a familiar one is the entire mechanism; that is the whole trick. This article restates the standing advisory of the IT Department and does not supersede it.
Pets
Lobsters only.
The Patches
One patch is issued per conference, after it and never before, built around whatever happened to the campsite that year. Design falls to the Chief Spreadsheet Officer. Patches are not for sale, are not sanctioned, and are not explained. Publication follows completion of the spreadsheet.
Relocation
Management may reassign the community to a different parcel at any time, for reasons Management is neither required nor particularly interested in discussing. The community will comply, will relocate in an orderly and professional manner, and will publish the notice.
Arising from Chapter V — The Eviction, 2026Amendment
These bylaws may be amended by the board of directors at any regular or irregular sitting, which is to say around the fire. Amendments take effect immediately and are recorded by the Secretary, who is the only officer with a written record of anything. Disputes as to wording are referred to Grammar, whose ruling is final and frequently unwelcome.
These bylaws govern a campsite. They are not a lease, not a contract, and not enforceable by anyone, including the board that adopted them. Management is not bound by any of it and has demonstrated as much.