Resident amenities
Amenities
Thoughtfully curated for the way our residents actually live, which is poorly. All amenities are available to residents in good standing and, in practice, to everyone else.
01Resort-style water featureLake access with seasonal swan-craft available to residents in good standing
0224-hour fitness circuitThe walk to the bathhouse, twice
03On-site diningRotating vendors. One entrée per resident. Wristband required.
04Community gathering spaceOpen flame. Programming runs until Management intervenes.
05High-speed wirelessOne (1) sanctioned network. See advisory before connecting.
06Concierge medicalHighest per-capita concentration of flight paramedics in the state, however the majority of them are from New Jersey, so take that as you will
07Ample natural lightBeginning at 0455
08Pet friendlySubject to approval by the Office of the Mayor
Conditions of use
Residents are reminded that the amenities were not built for them.
01The gathering spaceOpen flame is at the discretion of the Fire Marshal, who is consulted after the fact. Programming continues until Management intervenes.
02The sanctioned networkOne network is operated for the community. Any other network resembling it is not ours. See the standing advisory before connecting.
03Quiet hoursObserved. Instrumentation recorded 90 decibels at 0114, which the Office of the Mayor has accepted as context rather than defence.